I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
