He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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