just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
