You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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