how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
