Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
