i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
