i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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