Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
