I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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