So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
