He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
