it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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