I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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