Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
