have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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