Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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