Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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