High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
