So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
