I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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