It's Friday. Sex?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
