No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
