just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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