May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
