Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
