i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
