But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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