oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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