Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
This house was built for laser tag.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Also, beer. Big fan.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
