My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
