I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize