he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
