if you like me you must not know who I am
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
