I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
