i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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