then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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