she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
