You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
