I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
