I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
