my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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