i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
