How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
