Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
