Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
