I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
