I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
