Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You pole danced in your parka.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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