we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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