oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
