If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Terrible idea I love it
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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