True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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