That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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