I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
