I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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