i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Randomize
